Jennifer Walker
Carbondale, Illinois, United States

Being a mom was something I knew I wanted from an early age, but no one thinks when you decide to start a family, that it might take years to happen.

My husband and I have been together since high school.  We finished college and got married in our early twenties.  After a few years of marriage, we wanted to start a family.  I never dreamed that getting pregnant would be so difficult. It consumed my every thought. 

After years of trying treatment options like Clomid, IUI (intrauterine insemination), laparoscopic surgery, and a variety of other fertility medications, nothing was working. Our reproductive endocrinologist then discussed the option of IVF (invitro fertilization). I was nervous, but my husband and I decided to proceed.

In vitro fertilization is not an easy process to go through. Fertility drugs stimulate the ovaries for egg retrieval, and giving myself shots was not fun. I had to amp myself up each time and say, “You can do this to start a family.” My hormones were running wild when, on retrieval day, they were only able to gather four eggs. In the end, there were only two viable embryos.  Now we were faced with a decision. If we transferred both, we were scared of the possibility of a higher-risk pregnancy with twins or more. Despite being nervous, we decided to transfer both, and for the next two weeks, we simply had to wait. I was optimistic, even though I knew there were no guarantees. After almost three years of trying to conceive, I felt like this had to work. Two weeks later, after a blood test, I got the call from my doctor: “I’m so sorry to tell you, but your invitro fertilization was unsuccessful.”

No, how could this be?  “Could the test be wrong?” I pleaded. The doctor assured me that the test was correct and started discussing the option of trying IVF again, but I was crying too hard to hear anything he said. I was in my own world.  After a few minutes, I finally accepted the reality of yet another negative pregnancy test and knew I needed a game plan for what to do next.  My husband and I had already decided that if IVF did not work, we might need to take a break from infertility treatment. “My sister is getting married next month,” I told my doctor. “I just want to help her with wedding stuff and take a little break.”  He completely understood, and told me to call him when I was ready.

The next month, I was still devastated about the failed IVF, but the wedding preparation was a good distraction. I actually felt like I could breathe and was enjoying this time with my family.  The day of the rehearsal dinner, I thought I should take a pregnancy test in case I decided to have a few drinks at the wedding.  But because these tests had been negative so many times before, I didn’t expect it to be any different. This time the test didn’t look the same, though. It looked positive!  I decided to take another test, and one more after that. I ran to tell my husband and showed him all three positive tests. I called my doctor right away, who said, “Let’s not jump to conclusions yet, and get a blood test to confirm.” I could not drive there fast enough.  A few hours later I got a call: “You are 100% pregnant and your numbers looks great.”  I thanked him like he had just given me a million dollars.  A few weeks later, we had an ultrasound. Hearing the baby’s heartbeat was the most beautiful sound ever.    

We welcomed our first son that summer. Two years later, we became pregnant with our second son with no infertility treatments. Who would have thought it could be so easy the second time around?  Our family was complete.

Our sons are now eleven and thirteen. Our lives are filled with soccer, baseball, Nerf guns, and boy energy. They are my world. It seems like a lifetime ago that we went through the agony of trying to get pregnant, but every bit of worry and effort was worth it. These many years later, I am thankful and reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.”