Diana Heiman, RN, CEN, TNS

Advocate Lutheran General, Park Ridge, Illinois, United States

Poet’s statement: Poetry writing has been a coping skill for me since I was a child. The inspiration for this poem is a recent miscarriage.

 

Mother’s Day is different this year


Early morning lump in my throat
Tender breasts as I shift in my sleep
Such weird sensations,
could it be?

As I hurried to a class,
I stopped for a test...
Blank stare at the crisscross,
could I? will he? is it? should we?
Smile.
Who can I tell first?

Insatiable cravings,
Tight clothes,
Insomnia.

Lists, books, plans, websites
Protective strategies, thoughts on godparents,
parenting styles, names, and family vacations.
Dreams of schools and career paths.
Sensing the hugs, kisses, and more hugs.
Hunger.
Our love has created something delightful,
smile.

Off to meet our baby,
Giddy, anxious and happy.
There was no heartbeat this time.
What does that mean?

Personal devastation, unbearable ache.
Mental, emotional, physical pain.
A taunted blessing, leaves a void,
Mothers day is different this year.

pregnant woman

Photography by Chris Martino

 

 


DIANA HEIMAN, RN, CEN, TNS, has been a RN for nine years and is currently at Lutheran General emergency room in Park Ridge, Illinois. She is also a student in the Family Nurse Practitioner program at Loyola University in Chicago and is expected to graduate in December 2012.